Le Survey du Sarah

You may choose to complete this survey anonymously if you wish. If you choose to put your name on your survey, you will be given a copy of the results of everyone else that chose not to complete this survey anonymously. Sorry I don’t speak English.

So… name? Or no name is fine too… but if you choose to put your name down put it right here after the last word I type:

1. What is your favorite color?
2. What is your gender? (If you don’t know, please guess.)
3. How many continents have you been to?
4. Have you eaten pizza in the past 4 days?
5. Have you eaten anchovies in the past 4 days?
6. Have you eaten anchovies ever?
7. What was the last thing you thought about before you fell asleep last night?
8. Are you wearing socks?
9. Are you wearing underwear?
10. How long has it been since you’ve been to West Virginia? (If you have never been, please lie.)
11. If you had to live in one city/town/village/park/district/county/etc. for the rest of your life, where would you be living right this moment?
12. Have you ever cried in the movies?
13. Have you ever hugged a tree?
14. Have you ever danced buck naked in the great outdoors???
15. Are you missing someone right this second?
16. Where is the strangest mark on your body?
17. Which sock do you put on first?
18. Have you ever gone for more than a day with only one sock on?
19. What is your most incredible talent?
20. Do you bite your nails?
21. Have you ever been in love?
22. What noises are you currently being exposed to?
23. How many best friends have you had in your life?
24. Does your belly button turn in or out?
25. What was the most recent play you saw?
26. Have you ever eaten a bug?
27. If you answered yes to the previous question, was it an intentional bugly consumption?
28. How long has it been since you’ve eaten Chinese food?
29. Do you have any abnormal phobias that you are aware of?
30. WHICH WOULD YOU RATHER DO… CLIMB A HILL OF MAGGOTS, OR SWIM A RIVER OF SNOT (purified by Brita filter systems, of course)?
31. Actually you don’t have to answer question 30. Too late???
32. How do you react when a song you really, really, really like plays on the radio?
33. Has anybody ever written a poem about you (besides me, Sarah, test giver extraordinaire)?
34. Do you need to do your laundry sometime soon before it piles to the ceiling?
35. What should the last question of the very best test in the world be about?

Results of Le Survey du Sarah

People surveyed: 49*

*additional answers from after the pie charts (etc.) were made are included because they're wonderful... you can find them underneath the original set of answers.

WARNING: Some mild language from survey-takers is included. Content may not be suitable for persons under the age of 93.

Note: There was a very small portion of the population who had handwriting that was somewhat illegible, and even then I could read almost all of the answers… but there are one or two answers here that are entirely guesses (on the short-answer questions) so, sorry, or maybe, your fault.

• What is your favorite color?

(Note: For all those mathematically inclined who might notice that the percentages based on the total number of those surveyed are somewhat skewed: some people put more than one answer.)

Most interesting answer: “Red for the blood of the workers.”

Happiest answer: “Teal and mauve are nice!”

Most descriptive answer: “Cerulean.  Blue and green mixed together, with more blue than green.”

Most unusual answers: “Green (mint),” and “Red and sparkly.”

Conclusion: We should all get more involved in the books we are reading.

• What is your gender? (If you don’t know, please guess.)

    Conclusion: It is actually best not to draw conclusions based on gender.

• How many continents have you been to?

(Answers shown based on the state of feet-clothing of those surveyed.)

Conclusion: There may perchance be the conceivable possibility of a slight trend of those not wearing socks during the winter being somewhat more likely to have maybe traveled more widely, perhaps. Also very few people visit more than three continents before they graduate college.

• Have you eaten pizza in the past 4 days?

Most interesting answer: “I can’t really remember, but if I did, it was delicious!”

Funniest answer: “All 4 days”

Most thermodynamic answer: “No, sadly...I really like it!”

Most apt answer: “yes, right now”

Most unique answer: “I've eaten the toppings, not the pizza”

Note: One person would like to share that the pizza they have eaten was miniature.

Conclusion: America likes pizzaaaaaaaa.

• Have you eaten anchovies in the past 4 days?

Most detailed answer: “Absolutely not!”

Most unabashed answer: “heck no, my friend”

Most emotional answer: “ew, no”

Conclusion: In order to increase anchovy consumption on the East Coast of the United States, especially in certain Piedmont regions, anchovy-producing companies should up their annual advertisement spendings by 2% each year until a sufficient amount of citizens, especially youths, have been exposed to the delightful taste of anchovies.

• Have you eaten anchovies ever?

Most interesting answer: “My favorite topping.”

Most exuberant answer: “Hells yeah”

Most decisive answer: “Never will”

Conclusion: Exposure to anchovies is definitely affected by preference of sock order! While the chart may be unclear, almost (some large percent, it keeps changing every time I add data and I don’t want to keep re-typing it) of those who put their right sock on first have been exposed to anchovies, while less than (some small percent, it keeps changing every time I add data and I don’t want to keep re-typing it) of those who put their left sock on first have been exposed to anchovies. This is significant, because only one of each sock preference is not sure if they have eaten anchovies and only one of the preference-free have eaten and not eaten anchovies. This places both the anchovy-eaters and the right-sockers in minority!

Note: One person would like to share that they have eaten anchovies, but it was only on one occasion.

Post Script for that one anonymous person with that one anonymous answer, anchovies are fish, not vegetables, by the way.

• What was the last thing you thought about before you fell asleep last night? 

Note: These answers are in no particular order. Please do not attempt to figure out who said what by any means other than asking (whoever, whatever was it that you said?) (or sneaking in their bedroom window to steal their answer sheet*), because the identities of these persons are not hidden in this result sheet, etc., and you will just end up confused, perhaps. *Sarah and her surveying affiliates do hereby state that we by no means support or enforce this method of answer theft, and that we denounce responsibility for the actions of independent persons that may result in broken windows or late-night bedroom-scrabbles or anything else that is not of goodly, cleanly nature.

• Are you wearing socks?

Most logical answer: (that was almost a different answer): “yes, but not for long because my feet are getting antsy”

Most levelheaded answer: “No. Not at the moment. If I were to go outside? Yes.”

1 person is wearing socks even though they are “not a big fan of socks”

Conclusion: A significant quantity of the populous wears socks during the winter. Additionally, the sock-less minority is 100% female.

• Are you wearing underwear?

Note: On the chart I have labeled “yes” as “yes.” because an overwhelming majority placed a period or other form of punctuation after their answer to this question.

1 person changed their answer to yes!!!!!

And 1 person replied: “I hope so”

Best answer: “Do running shorts count?” (I filed it under “no” because that section was hurting for customers)

Conclusion: A significant percentage of the populous wears underwear during the winter. Perhaps I should say that a significant percentage of the populous wears underwear, but because 9% of those surveyed did not, I have reason to doubt the authenticity of this statement. Therefore, before I jump to any sort of conclusion, I deduce that I ought to re-survey the given American citizens during the warmer months of the year. Additionally, the underwear-less minority (and the “I hope so” minority) is 75% male (the running-shorts portion of the minority being 100% female).

• How long has it been since you’ve been to West Virginia? (If you have never been, please lie.)

1 person (whose answer wouldn’t fit in the above graph) put “last weekend (not a lie, I train on my bike there)”

1 person wrote “0” and since that is not really a measurement of time I didn’t include it in the results up there. maybe they meant “never…”

1 person actually put “1-2 years” but I filed them in the “last year” category… sorry I didn’t think another category very wise as this page is about to combust

Most Zen answer (not included above because the label would be too long and the graph would go off the page but worth reading anyway): “Before my spirit was born, it existed everywhere, even in WV. XD Not really an answer.  But if I were to lie, I'd say last week.”

Cleverest answer (filed under “never”): “my whole life”

Other Cleverest answer (also filed under “never” because I think he is 17): “17 years”

Note: I extend thanks to all those who read the parenthetical statement following this question and were therefore not included among the first bar of the above bar graph.

Another Note: One of the people who have been to West Virginia 5 years ago would like to share that they are not lying.

Conclusion: There have been two mass excursions of Arlingtonians to the state of West Virginia in Arlington’s recent history. One was two years ago, immediately after the unsettling influx of ridiculous gas prices surrounding major urban and suburban areas. The other was four years ago, and though the cause of this excursion is unknown, officials believe it was because of the slight revival of country music after the craze of the millennium had died down and history decided to repeat itself in lesser quantities, like the aftershocks of an earthquake.

• If you had to live in one city/town/village/park/district/county/etc. for the rest of your life, where would you be living right this moment?

Note: 1 person chose not to answer.

Question about the question: Was that a trick question? It doesn’t really matter, but if it was, 20 people got it! (I forgot to save my first draft, evidently, so the question was phrased differently for some people, but people did and did not put Arlington on both copies of the survey, and no matter what, people pick great places to live!)

Conclusion: Life is beautiful around the world. Is that a song?

• Have you ever cried in the movies?

3 people included that they had only cried in the movies once. (Though the question is “have you ever…” and so I tallied them as saying yes, but felt as though I had to make it clear that they had very minor yes’s by comparison.)

1 person would like to share that they have not cried but felt sad.

Most definite answer: “Of course.”

Most informative answer: “Quite often”

Most unbowed answer: “Oh yes, indeed. The most embarrassing being after the last Lord of the Rings...that was a rough day.”

Most perceptive answer:  “Yes, in recent years I have become more sensitive”

Movies that people have cried in (it was not mandatory to include this information but people were generous enough to share anyway) include: Lassie, Mighty Joe Young, A Walk to Remember (scribbled out The Notebook), “A horror commercial [that] scared the blink out of me,” and Remember the Titans.

Conclusion: While the majority of males have not cried in a movie, and the majority of females have, I have not surveyed enough people to make heads or tails of this statement. (?)

• Have you ever hugged a tree?

Best answer: “I hug and kiss them.”

Also best answer: “Yes.  I once played an imaginary game in my head where the spirit of my grandfather and ancestors were harboring in a large tree in my family's backyard, so we had to worship it.”

2 of the indefinite answers were: “probably”

1 of the “yes” answers was actually: “not when people are looking”

Conclusion: Although we live in a post-industrial service economy, people still find time to express their love towards Mother Nature.

• Have you ever danced buck naked in the great outdoors???

5 people had notable adverse written reactions to this question.

1 person changed their answer to this question.

1 of the “no’s” was actually “not yet, at least”

Best explanation (for no): “No.  Too many bugs.”

One answer that was not yes, no., or hell no: “not outdoors.” Ouch. Well okay, dancing naked, okay. But that is something that I am pretty sure MOST people engage in. As one of the minority of people who have danced outside in the nude, I can say that I have probably danced naked inside 100 times that (having only even been naked outside once, that I can remember.) So, as I was trying to capitalize on the anomaly, (which apparently was not truly an anomaly, since approximately ¼ of the people surveyed have danced buck naked in the great outdoors) ouch.

• Are you missing someone right this second?

1 person drew a sad face after their “yes”

Most emotive answer: (Not included above) “Yes, not someone but I miss my country”

Conclusion: Not all is as it seems. You would think that those stereotypically sentimental females would always be missing someone, but no! What is that huge blue chunk on the bottom of the graph?? Though the simple majority of people of both genders (and 100% of the both-gendered and no-answer people, who are, for the purposes of this survey, genderless) are all missing someone, which means that human beings care about each other and are capable of loving those not in their sight. [Dreamy theme song kicks in.]

oh man I just thought of something though… maybe that means women are more content??

• Where is the strangest mark on your body?

To those several people: while I love knowing what the strangest mark on your body is, the question is “where.” (it’s fine if you put both, unnecessary information is always bonny) 

• Which sock do you put on first?

Most interesting answer: “left because my left’s bigger”

Most bewildering answer: “Right, normally.  If I remember correctly.”

Most sensible answer: “Sometimes right, sometimes left. I think it depends on which feels colder!”

Most Zen answer: “either or”

Conclusion: A surprising percentage of the population put their left socks on first.

• Have you ever gone for more than a day with only one sock on?

1 of the “yes” answers was actually: “I think so, when I had stitches on my pinky toe.”

1 of the “no” answers was actually: “I doubt it.”

• What is your most incredible talent?

• Do you bite your nails?

Funniest answer: “Sometimes I bite my thumbnail”

Most Zen answer: “I used to.  Now I just let them grow and fall off.”

Most artistically descriptive: “I used to a lot but now it's very very rare. As rare as a clone of Marisa Beckley on Saturn's rings. (Not that rare, actually.)”

1 person included that they used to bite their nails

1 person included that they bite their nails “all the time”

1 person’s “yes” was REALLY BIG

1 person bites their nails when they are nervous

• Have you ever been in love?

For lack of better inspiration, this one’s by gender again.

Wonderful answer #1: “I’m always in love!”

Wonderful answer #2: “I changed my mind and are going with yes now! Definite yes. I love a lot of wonderful people. “

Wonderful answer #3: “I would like to hope so.”

Funniest Answer: “no, w/myself, yes”

Conclusion: Oh oops I forgot… no gender-based conclusions! But seriously, perhaps this has to do with how people define love, or maybe women don’t fall in love as easily?  Too close to say anyway. Brain food for future survey-related stuff.

• What noises are you currently being exposed to?

• How many best friends have you had in your life?

0, 1, 1, 1.5, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, “Not all that many.  But Sarah Kennedy* is one. :)” aww thank you so much you were one of mine too! (and mine were two? too two lalala) 3, 3, 3, 3 or 4, 3/4, 3-4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 5, ~5, 5, 5, “about five of the same ones all my life”, 6, 9, A lot (4X), 10, 11, 13, 16, 27 – “including all the imaginary ones,” 100, “Too many to count.” (2X), googolplex (they drew the symbol but I can’t find it in Microsoft Word)

1 person “[doesn’t] like this label. There’s only been one person who [they’ve] called a ‘best friend’ though, and that’s Michaela from preschool.”

3 people left this question blank

3 people changed their answer to this question. Two of the alterations increased the number, and the third decreased it significantly.

Conclusion: I can’t for the life of me figure out how someone could have 1.5 best friends, but anyway, or more than about five. I suppose people’s definition of “best friend” varies by quite a bit, and I guess that’s what I’m going to conclude. I mean (wait I’m almost done, I know I’ve concluded already but wait a second) you can take, for instance, the best friend you have at a specific point in time or you could take just the people you are extremely close to, which I guess in itself can vary in people’s definitions. There, done. 

*Last name has been changed.

• Does your belly button turn in or out?

1 person changed their answer…

1 person was “in, w/clay”

Least definite answer: “both? I suppose I’m an outty” (that’s where I put you)

Most unambiguous answer: “’Tis an outie forsooth.”

Conclusion: I never knew there were so many ways to say “in!” (2 people said “innie” too, but I didn’t want to make another graph thing so I put it under the regular “in,” and the “its an inny, thankyou” went under the exuberant (and perhaps indignant) “in!”)

• What was the most recent play you saw?

5 people didn’t answer

8 people couldn’t remember

but of those remaining… Glory Days, Spamalot (X2), Civil Wars (it sucked), Don Quixote, Jersey Boys, Nickel and Dimed (X3), Cinderella, Mama Mía 5 years ago? at least you remember!, Shalkspear um…, Urinetown, Hamlet (X3) (one person added that it was at the Kennedy Center), Macbeth, Beauty and the Beast (Montgomery Blair HS), Merrily We Roll Along, Hairspray on Broadway, W-L Production, The Rockettes at Radio City (even though it was more of a show), Othello, Moon Over Buffalo, An Urdu play, Nutcracker (X2), Chicago, The Mouse that Roared, Legally Blonde on Broadway, Rent, Dracula?, Phantom of the Opera (at the Kennedy Center) (and this person is in Little Shop of Horrors!), Princess & The Pea

• Have you ever eaten a bug?

Funniest answer (especially since most people put “yes” or “no”): “a gnat once flew in my mouth…”

Most suspicious answer (not included above): “who wants to know”

Most fascinating answer that I have to keep re-reading: “I don't remember.  I would like to hope not.  Although I did eat a barbequed dried worm skin.  It came in this nice bag and was perfectly safe.” Thank you for reassuring me.

Most disturbing answer: “Once because my friends were, but then I decided I like them so I eat them all the time.”

Most Zen answer: “not yet”

1 person shared that the bug they ate was an ant. (I think that’s a delicacy somewhere…)

6 people answered “not intentionally” to this question Go ahead, read my mind, see if I care. 

• If you answered yes to the previous question, was it an intentional bugly consumption?

5 people who answered “no” to the previous question answered this question (with “no”).

One person, with their most remarkable answer, did not answer the question directly, but, in effect did answer the question, by saying: “crunchy.”

Most understandable explaination: “Yes, I was dared to”

Most interesting answer: “worm”

Most happy-while-still-sounding-nasty answer: “Yes, I guess it was.  It was crunchy and tasted like barbeque. J” Though actually I’d probably eat anything barbequed.

Most confounding part (probably of this entire survey): one person put “no” to the previous question and “yes” to this question… I guess they intentionally didn’t eat a bug…

Conclusion: Is a worm actually a bug?? 1 person has eaten a worm and the other one a dried worm skin barbeque. I sort of thought bugs were like insects, or if it was to be broader, maybe all arthropods (except like shrimp, shrimp aren’t bugs.) Hahaha…. “bats aren’t bugs!!” oh for the good old days…

• How long has it been since you’ve eaten Chinese food?

Enough people put “a month” or “too long” or “few days” or “other irregular amount of time” that I’m not going to make another pie chart. Though someone has eaten Chinese food in the past 12 hours…

Greatest answer: “I’m Chinese so it’s all Chinese food.”

Also greatest answer: “Every day for dinner. :)”

Most confusing answer: “a month and a half. No yesterday!” erm…

1 person had “Asian food” on Saturday but has not eaten Chinese in “too long”

…and no, Thai is not Chinese. Thailand is a self-sufficient constitutional monarchy and capable of functioning independently from China. To that one person…

and EVERYONE answered this question (logically, I might add… some of the answers to the clear-cut questions in this survey have been rather hazy or just downright arbitrary, which is fine but for some reason nobody gave a wooly answer to the time frame since their most recent consumption of Chinese food.)

• Do you have any abnormal phobias that you are aware of?

18 people put no.

4 people put yes (or yep).

1 person didn’t answer

1 person put: “abnormal, no”

…but other than that everyone else did have abnormal phobias (and decided to list them.)

• WHICH WOULD YOU RATHER DO… CLIMB A HILL OF MAGGOTS, OR SWIM A RIVER OF SNOT (purified by Brita filter systems, of course)?

Note: Some people put more than one answer, which accounts for skewage of percentages.

you know, snot could be diseased. I wonder if the “Brita” part affected some people’s answers. Who put both?!

Funniest answer: “—Ha!” (it’s better if you see that their next answer is “okay!”)

Most foreboding answer: “the hill.”

Most comprehensible answer: “I really, really don’t want to even consider that question. Maybe I’d doggy-paddle through the snot.”

Most thought-out answer: “neither – in both cases my lungs would be filled”

Most disturbing answer: “both”

Most ironic answer (since the person answered this way): “not answering”

Most hard-to-identify-with-the-last-part answer: “River of snot.  I abnormally dislike bugs in any shape or form.  With the river, I could forget it's material.”

Most formal sounding answer: “Snot River.” It sounds like a place.

Least appropriate answer: “I’m going to be a lifeguard this summer.”

Other funniest answer: “hill of maggots, id get ‘em goood.”

Most understandable answer: “Climb a hill cause I don’t know how to swim”

Conclusion: “skewage” (which isn’t a word) looks like an amalgamation of sewage and skewer, and since sewage is smelly and skewers stab things, I think that (my intention being “skewage” as in the act of being skewed) skewage is therefore an appropriately odd word for the occasion.

While both would be technically difficult tasks to engage in (which many people seem not to have accounted for in their answer choices, being that it is hard to look past the fact that either activity could turn out to be completely nauseating) swimming a river of snot seems technically much more difficult. Actually swimming any river would take a lot longer than climbing a hill, unless it was a small river which would mean it was a stream or a creek or a run, which you would therefore not be allowed to swim to fulfill these parameters, even if it were somehow full of snot. That is, unless you were planning on swimming across the river, and not down the entire length. But beyond just that, swimming in snot would be very labor intensive as snot can be very sticky and viscous. Not that climbing a hill of maggots would be much easier, as you would just sink right into them, but at least you don’t have to try to get the snot out of your mouth when you’re trying to breathe. I still think that the hill would be an easier task to tackle, however, since you don’t want a lot of gear bogging you down when you’re swimming, although lots of crazy equipment seems socially acceptable for those engaging in mountain climbing (or hill-climbing, as the case may be.) So you could just get one of those space suits, a gigantic plank to walk on, an inner tube for if you fall of the plank… and have at it. I answered “neither,” by the way.

• Actually you don’t have to answer question 30. Too late???

sometimes there would be a response that was, like, a combination of those choices above and I tried to place it correctly but I hope I didn’t offend anyone with my gross inaccuracy. the other questions are really accurate but I’m getting really tired (it’s like 12:30 tomorrow morning)

Unusual answer (not included up there): “ha!”

Most unusual answer (not included up there): “shucks!” I just never hear that word and I like it

Even more unusual answer than the most unusual answer (also not included up there): “Hurray!” (and their answer to question 30 was in one of the two largest categories)

Oddest answer: “haha… burp”

Zen answer: “Oh well, I did.”

Also Zen answer: “Probably.  I go in sequential order” Accept life as it comes!

1 person had an answer but they scribbled it out really well (it looks like “no yes.”)

Most large answer: “I DON’T HAVE AN ANSWER HAHA!!!” Though it was true, there was no answer!

Conclusion: There’s always something more atypical. Also, it would have made my life if someone had actually put “regular yes.”

• How do you react when a song you really, really, really like plays on the radio?

• Has anybody ever written a poem about you (besides me, Sarah, test giver extraordinaire)?

After giving this survey, I realized that, although I write poems about a lot of people, I actually tended not to give them this survey. So, I apologize for the unnecessary parenthetical statement.

*Only one person has written a poem about me and it was not to my knowledge until their mother showed it to me, so you never know!

**One of these was a “story and/or a poem”

1 person has had a poem written about them by Fen.

Greatest answer: “hope not” (I almost couldn’t read it so I’m glad I figured out what it said)

Answer that I really want to ask the answerer about: “yeah ha ha”

Most energized answer: “Yeah! It was cool ask about it” I’m sorry I didn’t!

Conclusion: There are a lot more poetry writers than I thought! (That’s a good thing.)

• Do you need to do your laundry sometime soon before it piles to the ceiling?

Best answer: “covers the bed at least”

Most intriguing answer: “I don’t believe in laundry”

Best explanation (without answering the question but answers the question in effect): “I did four loads today!!!”

Most emphatic answer: “YES! Tomorrow!”

Also best answer: “too lazy.”

Speaking of too lazy… I’m too lazy (read: exhausted. I’m on page 11. short surveys are good) to make a graph of the trend, but I see that a significant number of people who answered, “yes” to question 33 also answered, “yes” to this question, and a significant number of people who answered “no” to question 33 also answered “no” to this question. Interesting… sort of very vaguely might reinforce the stereotype of artists as laaazy people. Or people who have poets as friends become lazy because they are artistic by extension or just because they pick up the habits of people around them. Okay last question. This is probably exhausting to read. I wonder if anyone will read the whole thing. And I intend to e-mail to save paper! Never fear Mother Earth!

• What should the last question of the very best test in the world be about?

 *ALSO:

What is your favorite color? the palest pink
What is your gender? girlie-woman
How many continents have you been to? three
Have you eaten pizza in the past 4 days? not in the past 5 years at least!
Have you eaten anchovies in the past 4 days? i'm a vegetarian, so...no! eeek!
Have you eaten anchovies ever? actually yes. probably one reason i became a vegetarian:) great reason! they have very little bones and that makes 'em cruncy like radishes... makes me shiver
What was the last thing you thought about before you fell asleep last night? how stuffed up my nose was. aww feel better!
Are you wearing socks? yes, stripey socks, as usual. yes!!!!
Are you wearing underwear? oh my god yes. who do you think i am, bratnuy spoyrs*?  hehe albert einstein. no wait, i don't know what i'm saying, i'm delirious, please forgive me
How long has it been since you’ve been to West Virginia? too long. probably not since christophe* and olive* were little tykes. beautiful place. it sure is...
If you had to live in one city/town/village/park/district/county/etc. for the rest of your life, where would you be living right this moment? darjeeling, india oh my goodness me too! wait did i put india? i'm checking. aww no. i put baton rouge or saturn. but india is a more realistic pick...
Have you ever cried in the movies? i am a total weeper.
Have you ever hugged a tree? uh, maybe by accident at a high rate of speed.
Have you ever danced buck naked in the great outdoors??? hehe, yeah. when i was a naughty teen.
Are you missing someone right this second? christophe*...
Where is the strangest mark on your body? my c-section scar. i call them christophe* and olive's* doorway.
Which sock do you put on first? right.
Have you ever gone for more than a day with only one sock on? NUNCA! that would feel so odd! i think it's an acquired sensation... i do it almost every day
What is your most incredible talent? i'm nice. don't forget "incredible artist" "great mom" "credit to the world..."
Do you bite your nails? i quit biting them when my dad was in viet nam, as a present to him. my mom took a photo of my long nails and sent it to him!
Have you ever been in love? oh yes, with my husband, and i am after almost 24 years of marriage:)
What noises are you currently being exposed to? the hum of my mac. that was one of my noises too! except i have a pc
How many best friends have you had in your life? ot very many. i find it hard to trust people enough to let them in too close. more when i was younger i guess.
Does your belly button turn in or out? it's almost flat. the guy who pierced it could only ut a ring in it because it was too flat for a "barbell" thingie.
What was the most recent play you saw? how embarrassing...i can't remember. no worries, you're not alone...
Have you ever eaten a bug?  when i was 5. a fly was sitting on the chicken drumstick i was eating, and gulp. (yet another reason i am a vegetarian!)
If you answered yes to the previous question, was it an intentional bugly consumption? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
How long has it been since you’ve eaten Chinese food? i loathe chinese food except for white boiled sticky rice and fortune cookies.
Do you have any abnormal phobias that you are aware of? snakes. any color, size, venom potential, i don't care. i get hysterical to the point of vomiting.
WHICH WOULD YOU RATHER DO… CLIMB A HILL OF MAGGOTS, OR SWIM A RIVER OF SNOT (purified by Brita filter systems, of course)? snot. i'm already sick, so i've been swimming in it for a week. i'm used to it now;)
Actually you don’t have to answer question 30. Too late???  i'm a sucka. nuh-uhh... it's just to see how many people read ahead/take tests backwards.
How do you react when a song you really, really, really like plays on the radio? it makes me very happy. like, really really happy. music can change everything. i agree completely
Has anybody ever written a poem about you (besides me, Sarah, test giver extraordinaire)? if they did it could be kind of scary. unless sarah wrote it (hint!) thanks!! ... my facial expression is happy to the point of double chin
Do you need to do your laundry sometime soon before it piles to the ceiling? i keep up with it. i'm a good little housewife!
35. What should the last question of the very best test in the world be about?
How often do you find yourself in a public restroom and learn that your underwear is inside out and then go to the trouble of fixing it? that has never happened to me, but i wish it would! i wish i cared what my underwear looks like, or that it's either a hand-me-down from my mom or stolen from some expensive underwear retail place (that is like my biggest problem other than being immature and screwing up my life -- i can't stop stealing underwear!) but yes i have definately put my underwear on inside out, but even at home i doubt i would bother to fix it. that's what's nice about you, caring about little things. it makes a big difference so you're not a slob and you don't make the world a more slobovick place. thank you for existing. love, sarah

*names have been changed

Conclusion: I am a much better typist than I was yesterday. Haha irony… aah Mr. Peters!

 

Other bits of wholly unnecessary information:

1 person put a question mark after both their favorite color and their gender.

1 person answered the question that they made up (for Question 35) (theirs was the superpower question) with: “to freeze time.” There was actually a really scary episode of the Twilight Zone about that…

2 people managed to include the fact that they have been skiing at some point in their lives.

1 person “[doesn’t] do laundry, that’s what moms are for”

3 sets of dating people were accounted for in these results (that I know of)

1 person has been outside the continent in the womb

1 person is in love with their violin (but not with a person)

2 people are unquestionably female

1 person could not possibly bite their nails (and they started to write why but got distracted…)

1 person’s survey thanked me for giving it to them and said “these are always fun” you’re quite welcome I’m glad you enjoy them!

…and, someone has eaten a chocolate-covered grasshopper in Korea!

Survey Answer Totals:

“No”s vehemently etched into paper: 1

Exclamation points: 29

“Indeedie”s: 4

“…’s” (I forgot what they are called… Ellipses?): 49    wow

“Never”s: 7

“Yep”s: 8

“Maybe”s: 14

Drawings: 9

Words that are not in the dictionary (contractions/names excluded): 59

“Duh”s: 3

Question marks: 45

“Haha”s: 4 ½

Incomplete thoughts (person quite obviously got distracted): 4

“Hmm”s: 7

“Absolutely”s: 3

“Aww yess”s: 1

 

Final Note: Since I got to see all of your answers, you all are welcome to ask me any one of these questions at almost any time and I promise I will answer you!

 

Thank you all for taking my survey! (You can’t hear because by the time you read this it will have already passed, but I am giving you all a round of applause for being good upstanding high-school citizens with good upstanding high-school problems and solutions and questions and stuff. It’s really hard to clap and type at the same time.) Thank you again, have a good life.

*applause continues*

[Exeunt]