Surveys That Sprout From Out The Underground Atypical Network

*note: I no longer instant messaging because it is buying in to popular culture or whatnot but “Pennychaupianist” was me, the surveyor, about 2 years ago.

VICTIM I

Pennychaupianist: how’s life

Victim 1:  gud

Pennychaupianist: what music are you listening to?

Pennychaupianist: (this is a survey

Victim 1: a mix, with greenday, good charlotte, the killers, hoobastank, mostly punk music

Pennychaupianist: ok

Pennychaupianist: what are you wearing

Victim 1: blue pants white long sleeve shirt

Victim 1: same thing i was wearing to skool

Pennychaupianist: do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend

Victim 1: nope

Victim 1: SINGLe

Pennychaupianist: (standard procedure to ask about both)

Victim 1: yea I know

Pennychaupianist: are you religious

Victim 1: yea

Pennychaupianist: do you watch internet cartoons

Victim 1: huh?

Pennychaupianist: do you like the color purple.

Victim 1: I have a comic strip on my aim, and yea i like purple

Victim 1: not aim msn

Pennychaupianist: do you have plans to take over the world

Victim 1: if my friends do, then I get to help and I get some country or region for myself, so yea kind of

Pennychaupianist: do you read poetry?

Victim 1: sometimes yea

Pennychaupianist: do you write poetry?

Victim 1: a little yea

Pennychaupianist: are you a pathetic human or some other race

Victim 1: some other race

Pennychaupianist: if so are you racist against the pathetic humans

Victim 1: no

Pennychaupianist: do you pity them?

Victim 1: sometimes yea

Pennychaupianist: do you have a tail?

Victim 1: no

Pennychaupianist: do you know anyone who does?

Victim 1: my cats

Pennychaupianist: can you play basketball?

Victim 1: yes

Pennychaupianist: do you like playing basketball>

Victim 1: yes

Pennychaupianist: do you listen to bell?

Victim 1: what is that?

Victim 1: and I don't think so

Pennychaupianist: it’s bad

Victim 1: then no

Pennychaupianist: okay I’m done

…

Pennychaupianist: okay more then

Victim 1: cool

Pennychaupianist: what is your lucky number?

Victim 1: 21

Pennychaupianist: are you scared of strobe lights

Victim 1: no

Pennychaupianist: have you ever been to a disco

Victim 1: no

Pennychaupianist: do you use hairspray

Victim 1: yes

Pennychaupianist:  what is the most interesting dream that you have ever had?

Victim 1:  well it was with this guy named rocky

Victim 1 [8:44 P.M.]:  he got me pregnant during homecomming last year, and i just told him in jan or somethin like 3 months after she was born

Victim 1:  and he was like what?

Victim 1:  and i was like she's urs

Victim 1:  and he let me in his house, we talked, and hmm hmmed, and then i went home

Victim 1:  the next day was the day of some dance at school and he took me

Pennychaupianist: okay thank you for taking this!

Victim 1:  no prob

Pennychaupianist: <3 ya bye

Victim 1:  peace

VICTIM II

Pennychaupianist: hi hows life mind taking a survey real quick?

Victim 2:  Hey! Life is life, and sure!

Pennychaupianist: okey doke. what music are you listening to??

Victim 2:  Nothing at the moment.

Pennychaupianist: fair enough… waht are you wearing?

Victim 2:  Oh goodness… do I have to be truthful?

Pennychaupianist: erm, iguess not.

Pennychaupianist: no do!!!! you got me curious

Pennychaupianist: i mean you dont’ have to

Victim 2:  well, suffice to say that I am not fully clothed!

Pennychaupianist: sufficed. you want to tell me off the record?

Victim 2:  no

Pennychaupianist: fine.

Victim 2:  I didn’t mean it in a rude way!

Pennychaupianist: erm, next question?

Victim 2:  That is probably best.

Pennychaupianist: do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?

Victim 2:  Why would I have a boyfriend?

Pennychaupianist: standard proceedure~!!

Pennychaupianist: answer the question

Victim 2:  Well, I certainly don’t have someone who could be confused as a boy.

Pennychaupianist: so you have a girlfriend

Victim 2:  No

Victim 2:  Is that all?

Victim 2:  Hey where are you?

Pennychaupianist: hoi

Pennychaupianist: sorry my mom..erm life stuff.

Victim 2:  Do you have any more questions? I have a basketball game later so I really can’t talk long.

Pennychaupianist: wait a  second

Pennychaupianist: all that and you don’t even have a girlfriend?

Victim 2:  shut up

Pennychaupianist: aaaaaaaaaaaaah

Pennychaupianist: what ebout catelin or whatever her name is?

Victim 2:  Do you have any more questions Sarah?

Pennychaupianist: ye s i have alot

Pennychaupianist: sorry about the hangup

Pennychaupianist: so um

Pennychaupianist: are you religious?

Victim 2:  Are you intentionally asking questions you know the answers to?

Pennychaupianist: its a survey

Pennychaupianist: aargh you can’t answer a question with a queiston

Victim 2:  no

Pennychaupianist: thank you for your intense cooperation

Victim 2:  That’s it?

Pennychaupianist: no give me a second ih have to  find ze copy of questions to survey people with so i can expediate…

Victim 2:  what?

Pennychaupianist: huh?

Victim 2:  “Expedite” what?

Pennychaupianist: oh sorry mr., smartass

Victim 2:  I suppose I’m not in the best mood.

Victim 2:  you did bring up Katelynne

Pennychaupianist: sorry

Victim 2:  It’s not your fault, you didn’t know.

Pennychaupianist: still sorry

Victim 2:  well thank you

Pennychaupianist: ou’re welcome

Pennychaupianist: um

Pennychaupianist: do you mind if i ask you more questions… or maybe later?

Pennychaupianist: i should maybe take that question off, i don’t even care what people’s relational satus is

Victim 2:  status

Victim 2:  and it could be worse

Pennychaupianist: AAAARG next question.

Victim 2:  My thoughts exactly

Pennychaupianist: are you religious?

Victim 2:  you asked that already.

Pennychaupianist: oh yea sory SORRY

Victim 2:  You make me laugh

Pennychaupianist: most people would type “lOL”

Victim 2:  I’m not most people

Pennychaupianist: i know that heh

Pennychaupianist: um

Victim 2:  yes?

Pennychaupianist: give me a second!!

Pennychaupianist: gezie pezie

Pennychaupianist: 6. Do you watch crappy internet cartoons?

Victim 2:  You oughtn’t ask questions that include judgemental statements.

Pennychaupianist: hah  you spelled judgmental wrong!

Victim 2:  It isn’t a competition

Pennychaupianist: AAAH yes t is!!!

Victim 2:  I only correct you for your edification

Pennychaupianist: ok mr. oxford

Pennychaupianist: harvard what ver zsshoel

Victim 2:  Annapolis

Pennychaupianist: wait i wasn’t serious… you already know wher you’re going to college?

Pennychaupianist: IS THAT ARMY!!!!!!

Victim 2:  Navy

Pennychaupianist: I like big boats

Victim 2:  Uh

Victim 2:  Next question.

Pennychaupianist: you didn’t answer

Victim 2:  What was the question again?

Pennychaupianist: 6. Do you watch crappy internet cartoons?

Victim 2:  6?

Pennychaupianist: !’

Victim 2:  No

Pennychaupianist: 7. Do you like the color purple?

Victim 2:  I suppose, it isn’t my favorite, but

Pennychaupianist: you are long winded

Victim 2:  Not as much as you

Pennychaupianist: blahbalah blah

Pennychaupianist: 9. Do you have plans to take over the world?

Victim 2:  Uh

Victim 2:  Can’t say I do…

Pennychaupianist: 10.Do you read poetry?

Victim 2:  In class

Pennychaupianist: 11.Do you write poetry?

Victim 2:  No, you write enough for the both of us

Victim 2:  That was a fond statement, not an insult

Pennychaupianist: yur a fond statement not an insult

Pennychaupianist: er

Victim 2:  Yes?

Pennychaupianist: i hafta stop typing the computer is hurtin my eyees can  I aks you the rest tomorrow or something

Victim 2:  Sure

Victim 2:  I hope your eyes feel better

Pennychaupianist: thanks. actually isan internet survey so

Pennychaupianist: and you never im people

Victim 2:  I’m sure you can make an exception

Pennychaupianist: nope! bang bang bang

Victim 2:  I’ll see you around

Pennychaupianist: around where???

Victim 2:  Bye, Sarah

Pennychaupianist: by <3

VICTIM III

Pennychaupianist: hOLA!

Victim 3:  wassup

Victim 3:  hello-o?

Pennychaupianist: hi

Pennychaupianist: do you mind taking a survey really quickly

Pennychaupianist: because quickly is ze only way I can giv it

Victim 3:  lol. horny

Pennychaupianist: um no. anywho

Pennychaupianist: first question

Victim 3:  *sry

Pennychaupianist: i'll live

Pennychaupianist: 2. What music are you listening to?

Victim 3:  wat about question 1

Pennychaupianist: decided to omit it, it’s what’s your name and im going to print this stuff out and show it to people so i wanted to respect privacy

Victim 3:  o i c

Victim 3:  listenin to beach boys

Victim 3:  tho its just one song on this mix

Pennychaupianist:  3. What are you wearing?

Victim 3:  dark blu shirt w white stripes and grey cordoroy pants

Pennychaupianist: nice

Pennychaupianist: um

Pennychaupianist: spitit out, I know I know

Victim 3:  nah im just chillin

Pennychaupianist: do you want to get married?

Victim 3:  to u?

Pennychaupianist: to  anyone

Victim 3:  no

Victim 3:  not jsut ne1

Pennychaupianist: 4. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?

Pennychaupianist: standard operating procedure to ask both

Victim 3:  gf

Victim 3:  lol ur wierd

Pennychaupianist: thanks

Victim 3:  n a good way

Pennychaupianist: ya

Pennychaupianist: thanks

Pennychaupianist: um

Pennychaupianist:  5. Are you religious?

Victim 3:  not rele

Pennychaupianist: 6. Do you watch crappy internet cartoons?

Victim 3:  sumtimes

Victim 3:  not usuly

Pennychaupianist: mew

Victim 3:  lol meow?

Pennychaupianist: I meant to type new one

Victim 3:  rawr

Pennychaupianist: 7. Do you like the color purple?

Victim 3:  nah

Pennychaupianist: 9. Do you have plans to take over the world?

Victim 3:  wat about 8?

Pennychaupianist: eight what/

Victim 3:  ? 8

Pennychaupianist: oh i deleted it

Victim 3:  bummer

Pennychaupianist: not really

Victim 3:  so

Victim 3:  it would b cool to rule the world, but I don have ne plans

Pennychaupianist: that’s all right!

Victim 3:  lol

Pennychaupianist: 10.Do you read poetry?

Victim 3:  ye

Pennychaupianist:  do you write poetry?

Victim 3:  i gues sumtimes

Victim 3:  not rele

Pennychaupianist: Are you a pathetic human or some other race? Or perhaps some weird combination of the two?

Victim 3:  pathetic

Pennychaupianist: good choice

Victim 3:  ye

Victim 3:  i gues

Pennychaupianist: then are you racist against aliens?

Victim 3:  my ppl went thru a lot of shit so im rele never racist

Pennychaupianist: <3

Victim 3:  luv

Pennychaupianist: absitively posolutely!

Victim 3:  lol

Victim 3:  ur a good person

Pennychaupianist: so are you

Pennychaupianist: tears are welling up in my eyes

Victim 3:  shutup

Pennychaupianist: oh! im injured!

Victim 3:  lol ur funny

Victim 3:  ne more ?s

Pennychaupianist: yes just a second

Pennychaupianist: do you have a tail

Victim 3:  wat?!

Pennychaupianist: just answer the question

Victim 3:  hell no

Victim 3:  wat kind of a question is that

Pennychaupianist: what kind of a question are you?

Victim 3:  u mak no sense

Victim 3:  ‘s all good tho

Pennychaupianist: 16.Do you know anyone who does?

Victim 3:  does wat

Pennychaupianist: have a tail

Victim 3:  a dog

Pennychaupianist: good answer

Victim 3:  full of em

Pennychaupianist: not good answer

Victim 3:  aw

Victim 3:  i g2g r u done

Pennychaupianist: no but I can finish later?

Victim 3:  ye ttyl

Pennychaupianist: bye

…

Victim 3:  so

Pennychaupianist: SO!

Victim 3:  ne more ?s

Victim 3:  i like them

Pennychaupianist: yes actually

Pennychaupianist: wait let me find the file so I can know which question I asked you lats

Victim 3:  ok

Pennychaupianist: found it!

Pennychaupianist: um

Pennychaupianist: 17.Can you play basketball?

Victim 3:  ye

Victim 3:  lol duh

Pennychaupianist: 18.Do you like playing basketball?

Victim 3:  moren i like bein w my pps

Pennychaupianist: tienes dedicación

Victim 3:  idk wat u said

Pennychaupianist: you have dedication

Victim 3:  still don kno wat u said

Victim 3:  jk

Pennychaupianist: 19.Do you listen to Bells?

Victim 3:  no

Pennychaupianist: 20.What is your lucky number?

Victim 3:  7

Victim 3:  or 10

Pennychaupianist: 21.Are you afraid of strobe lights?

Pennychaupianist: oops

Victim 3:  ye

Victim 3:  no

Pennychaupianist: 22.Have you ever been to a disco?

Victim 3:  no

Pennychaupianist: 23.Do you use hairspray?

Victim 3:  fuck no

Pennychaupianist: 24.What is the most interesting dream you have had?

Victim 3:  2 chicks @ 1 time

Pennychaupianist: I see

Victim 3:  lol

Pennychaupianist: last question

Pennychaupianist: 25.If there was one thing you wanted to say to the world, what would it be?

Victim 3:  aids is reel

Pennychaupianist: yes it is.

Pennychaupianist: thank you for your time!

Victim 3:  np

Pennychaupianist: bye! <3

Victim 3:  wher u goin

Pennychaupianist: to survey other unsuspecting victims

Victim 3:  o

Victim 3:  ttyl

AS SURVEYING PEOPLE ON AIM HAS BECOME CUMBERSOME, I WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THAT THE REST OF THE PEOPLE SURVEYED WERE SURVEYED ON THE TELEPHONE (and several years after I surveyed the first few people). I have typed the following conversations as accurately as I could, but if you said something that I omitted, I do apologize, because I really was typing as fast as I could.

VICTIM IV

Victim 4: hello?

Surveyor: hi this is Sarah

Victim 4: oh hi Sarah

Surveyor: I was calling to ask you a few questions for a survey of mine. I am going to try to type everything that we both say for the record, just so you know. And that is why I am talking so slowly and robotically.

Victim 4: oh [laughs] no problem. What’s this survey for?

Surveyor: for the sake of surveying the populous?

Victim 4: Okay. I’m ready. oh sorry are you typing?

Surveyor: I’m trying. I'll edit it later so it's legible. okay first question.

Victim 4: yes

Surveyor: what music are you listening to?

Victim 4: ah, * the music of your voice

Surveyor: sorry give me a second

Victim 4: that’s all right

* parts I didn’t quite manage to type before I forgot

Surveyor: okay I’ve got all that down. now what are you wearing?

Victim 4: hmm. blue jeans, yellow socks and a *(band?) t-shirt

Surveyor: sounds like an outfit. sorry I don’t know why I said that

Victim 4: [laughs] no problem * say stuff like that too

Surveyor: do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? it is mandatory that I ask both

Victim 4: [laughs] yes I have a boyfriend

Surveyor: I’m glad you two are still together. someone I surveyed got mad at me because they had just gotten dumped by their girlfriend and they didn’t want to be asked that. I think this is the last time I ask that question because I was dreading your answer

Victim 4: oh, sorry * no don’t worry we’re still together

Surveyor: that’s nice. are you religious?

Victim 4: not really, no. but I went to church with * when I was * kid

Surveyor: do you watch cartoons on the internet

Victim 4: I suppose I do sometimes

Surveyor: so –

Victim 4: just on occasion. oh sorry!

Surveyor: not a problem. do you like the color purple?

Victim 4: I do! definitely yes

Surveyor: do you [laughs uncontrollably] sorry it’s such a dumb question

Victim 4: no no ask!

Surveyor: do you wanna take over the world?

Victim 4: [laughs also] no not particularly

Surveyor: okay give me a sec [tries to stop laughing/crying] ah. okay next question.

Victim 4: yep!

Surveyor: do you read poetry?

Victim 4: I do, and I really enjoy it!

Surveyor: great! do you write poetry?

*

Victim 4: no, not so much. but I would like to start writing more!

Surveyor: yea me too. * are you a human or some alien?

Victim 4: [makes a funny sound then starts laughing] I’m not * how to answer that

Surveyor: take your time

Victim 4: *I’m definitely human. definitely human

Surveyor: are you racist against the aliens?

Victim 4: no [laughs] I don’t believe in aliens

*

Surveyor: oh that’s all right

Victim 4: yes

Surveyor: do you pity them?

Victim 4: I –

Surveyor: oh wait sorry that question doesn’t apply

Victim 4: [laughs] no

*

Surveyor: do you have a tail?

Victim 4: this is getting weird *

Surveyor: sorry*

Victim 4: no it’s fine I like it! but I definitely don’t have a tail

Surveyor: do you know anyone who does?

Victim 4: maybe an animal of some sort?

Surveyor: maybe

Victim 4: I mean can people have tails?

*

Surveyor: oh oops my phone is dying * do you mind if we don’t finish?

Victim 4: no problems, I love taking surveys!

Surveyor: thank –

Victim 4: thank you!

Surveyor: [laughs] thank you for taking it.

Victim 4: no problem. see you tomorrow… or Monday!

Surveyor: Monday. bye [victim 4’s name]

Victim 4: *

VICTIM V

Victim 5: Hello?

Surveyor: hi *

Victim 5: I will choose my words carefully [laughs]

Surveyor: [laughs]

Victim 5: thank you

Surveyor: okay * what music are you listening to?

Victim 5: okay let me tell you

midlake  that’s the name of the band

Surveyor: midlake?

Victim 5: mmhmm

Surveyor: okay. What are you wearing?

Victim 5: I’m wearing jeans and a black t-shirt

Surveyor: *actually that question is eradicated

*

Victim 5: very official

Surveyor: * so um Are you religious?

Victim 5: uh, not really

Surveyor: that’s like everyone’s answer

Victim 5: but speaking of that I promised myself to go to the Unitarian church sometime soon to see what it’s like *

Surveyor: Do you watch crappy internet cartoons?

Victim 5:not really actually and I’m being honest but I do spend a lot of time on the internet just like reading random stuff

*

Surveyor: Do you like the color purple?

Victim 5: yes I do

*

Surveyor: * Do you have plans to take over the world?

Victim 5: I don’t wish to share that [both laugh] you can count that as “no” for security reasons

*

Surveyor: Do you read poetry?

Victim 5: yes sometimes

Surveyor: oops Do you write poetry?

Victim 5: sometimes yes just for friends usually

Surveyor: you wrote me a very nice poem once

Victim 5: oh thank you

Surveyor: oh * Are you a pathetic human or some other alien race? Or perhaps some weird combination of the two?

Victim 5: I’d say a combination, like I look very human but inside… outwardly human

[both laugh]

Surveyor: If you are of some other race, are you racist against the pathetic humans? If you are a pathetic human, are you racist against the weird alien people? If you are some weird combination of human and other, you are exempt from answering this question. This makes us all weird.

Victim 5: so am I exempt

Surveyor: yea. um Do you pity them (the others...)?

Victim 5: you know, I get along with them well, they’re very intelligent ones I’ve got no problem*, I love them dearly

Surveyor: Do you have a tail?

Victim 5: *no

Surveyor: no. Do you know anyone who does?

Victim 5: I know some I mean not that I know of but people keep these things private sometimes I could know many people with tails and not even know it

Surveyor: oh. [laughs] Can you play basketball?

Victim 5: oh I wish I haven’t tried in a long time oh no sorry something just fell down in the kitchen

*

Surveyor: Do you like playing basketball?

Victim 5: um playing with good friends who understand that I’m unskilled you know that’s fun but not against people who are serious about it

Surveyor: yea I get that

Victim 5: yea

Surveyor: sorry um. Do you listen to Bells?

Victim 5: I, like I might hear some but I don’t listen to them often, I don’t choose to listen to them very often *

Surveyor: What is your lucky number?

Victim 5: hmm for a long time I thought it was 21 but I’m not sure anymore actually

Surveyor: Are you afraid of strobe lights?

Victim 5: what was that sorry

Surveyor: Are you afraid of strobe lights?

Victim 5: ooh

umm

I might be a little actually [both laugh]

they freak me out yes, yes but they are really neat it makes everything look like they’re taking a bunch of pictures I guess that’s really neat

*

Surveyor: Have you ever been to a disco?

Victim 5: I don’t think so I wish I could say yes but I don’t think so

Surveyor: [laughs] Do you use hairspray?

Surveyor: uhh I use hair gel but no I don’t really use hair spray

Surveyor: okay I’m inserting a new question . what is your gender

Victim 5: feeeeeemale

Surveyor: FEE
Victim 5: feeeemale

*

Surveyor: What is the most interesting dream you have had?

Victim 5: uh let me think… oh that’s difficult I’ve had a lot of strange ones lately. um oh there was one where I was out for brunch with some people from middle school and I didn’t finish my ham and one of them stated yelling at me and it went on for a while * that was one of the stranger ones I guess

[both laugh]

Surveyor: okay last question. If there was one thing you wanted to say to the world, what would it be?

Victim 5: ohh um I’m just paraphrasing this isn’t exactly it but umm I guess maybe just try and convince everyone to try and get along better and be patient, I don’t know I think that’s the cause of many problems on this planet.

good thank you so much for taking this

Victim 5: thank you, sure

Surveyor: even though it was kind of weird

Victim 5: thank you my pleasure

Surveyor: so* have a lovely evening

Victim 5: thank you, you too

Surveyor: bye

Victim 5: bye sarah

VICTIM VI

Victim 6: hello?

Surveyor: hi [victim 6] it’s Sarah from high school

*

Surveyor: what music are you listening to (if any)?

Victim 6: um okay right now I’ll say Animal Collective

cause they’ve been stuck in my head for the past week or so

Surveyor: what are you wearing?

Victim 6: uhm a striped dark blue and slightly lighter blue shirt

Surveyor: oh there was someone else I surveyed who was wearing something similar except they were white stripes

Victim 6: and some really dark are these like blue or black are they dark blue, my pants.

we’ll say black pants, but kind of faded so they look grey

Surveyor: Are you religious?

Victim 6: am I what

Surveyor: religious

Victim 6: religious no

Surveyor: Do you watch internet cartoons?

Victim 6: yes, religiously [both laugh]

Surveyor: Do you like the color purple?

Victim 6: purple… um all right depending on the shade*

Surveyor: Do you have plans to take over the world?

Victim 6: um it’d be nice but I think my sister would probably have a better chance at it

Surveyor: Do you read poetry?

Victim 6: I love to read poetry

Surveyor: Do you write poetry?

Victim 6: yes

*

Surveyor: Are you a pathetic human or some other alien race? Or perhaps some bizarre combination of the two?

Victim 6: uhm hmm can I say d, like answer d

Surveyor: sure

Victim 6: okay [laughs] well we’ll say d none of the above

Surveyor: ok [laughs] If you are of some other race, are you racist against the pathetic humans? If you are a pathetic human, are you racist against the weird alien people? If you are some weird combination of human and other, you are exempt from answering this question. This makes us all weird. I’m not sure how you’d answer that

Victim 6: um I’ll say uh I like people and I also do not like people as necessary… aliens as well

Surveyor: Do you pity them (the others...)?

Victim 6: uh yes a little bit

*

Surveyor: Do you have a tail?

Victim 6: a tail?

Surveyor: yeah

Victim 6: yeah ah I like to think so

Surveyor: do you know anyone else who does?

Victim 6: anyone else who has a tail? no I don’t think so… none that I’ve ever seen anyway

Surveyor: [laughs] Do you listen to Bells?

Victim 6: to what?

Surveyor: bells

Victim 6: oh bells um… I mean I don’t really have a choice because when they ring they’re pretty loud, so yes [I laugh]

Surveyor: are you afraid of strobe lights?

Victim 6: strobe lights? mm hmm, yea they kind of freak me out because it makes it hard to walk and everything looks like its like jumping at you

Surveyor: have you ever been to a disco?

Victim 6: a disco? no. no I don’t live in the 70s

Surveyor: do you use hairspray?

Victim 6: hairspray? um no… I should… might make it more interesting [I laugh]

life I mean

Surveyor: good good good. um what is your gender?

Victim 6: my gender… oh male

*

Victim 6: if you have a question that asks what this survey most reminds me of, put down a time capsule*

Surveyor: Im just writing that anyway. uh what is the most interesting dream you can recall?

Victim 6: um I don’t know I have a lot of interesting dreams like whenever I dream its pretty interesting but I dreamt that I was running thru the school except the school was part grocery store part mall and part warehouse with boxes and crates in it and I was like chasing someone thru it and then I was in the desert, and I was throwing rocks from a cliff and I was throwing them at the other cliff trying to knock it down or whatever…

* oh there was this other one where I was in a restaurant and the lobsters we were eating *they were not necessarily malevolent but they were like destroying everything we were eating so it was no good*

Surveyor: aah it got bold

Victim 6: you can leave it bold it makes it more interesting. and you can write that down too

Surveyor: no bullets! * okay last question.

Victim 6: ok

Surveyor: if there was one thing you wanted to say to the world, what would it be?

Victim 6: hmm, tough one. um “yes”. that’s what I would say to the world*

actually that’s probably… okay, no, that’s what I would say

Surveyor: thank you so much for taking my survey!

Victim 6: no problem* good luck surveying your next victim

Surveyor: I look forward to seeing you when you come home from school and until then… ta-ta. okay bye

Victim 6: [makes a sound] bye

VICTIM VII

*

Victim 7: another survey

*

Victim 7: can you email it to me cause I kind of have company and I don’t want to stay away from them too long.

Surveyor: sure! what’s your email (in case I have lost it?)

[Victim 7 gives email]

[Goodbyes are exchanged.]

Victim 7’s wrote in the email:

what music are you listening to (if any)? The Music in my head...

what are you wearing? shorts and an orioles t shirt

Are you religious? not religious but Christian

Do you watch internet cartoons? no

Do you like the color purple?sometimes

Do you have plans to take over the world? only on Sundays...

Do you read poetry? not often

Do you write poetry? not very well..

Are you a pathetic human or some other alien race? Or perhaps some bizarre combination of the two? d, all of the above...

If you are of some other race, are you racist against the pathetic humans? If you are a pathetic human, are you racist against the weird alien people? If you are some weird combination of human and other, you are exempt from answering this question. This makes us all weird. I love everybody! :)

Do you pity them (the others...)? no

Do you have a tail? yes (a tail-bone! duh!)

do you know anyone who does? ME !

Do you listen to Bells? yes, all the time. Doesnt everybody?

are you afraid of strobe lights? only when I am not sober..... :/

have you ever been to a disco? I once did the disco in my basement...

do you use hairspray? no

what is your gender? female

what is the most interesting dream you can recall? Its not really interesting but the first dream that I thought of was: I dreamt that somehow RS (however its spelled) died in school.. all I really recall were them putting tape around where his body was and they were asking me how he died but I didnt know..... creepy right?

last question. if there was one thing you wanted to say to the world, what would it be? GRIOW UP! I mean jjeeeze! the whole world is like a bunch of seven year olds fighting over a toy. its ridiculous! jeeze you dont have to have all the damn toys! learn to freakin share!


gosh!

(feel free to include any other extraneous comments)